The internet is littered with eBooks and programs on how to get your ex back. I'm constantly seeing ads shouting:
"Get Your Ex Beg You to Come Back, Guaranteed!" "10 Sure-Fire Ways to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Crawling Back!" "Top-Secret Tricks to Win Back Your Girlfriend or Wife!" Are these products legitimate?
They are generally a collection of sometimes common-sense strategies to bring back your ex. Most ideas revolve around:
- Showing off a new confidence, look, and/or personality
- Making the ex jealous by dating/flirting/etc.
- Re-framing the break-up as mutual ("Let's both take a break")
- Showing the ex that you're moving on -- basically, using "reverse psychology."
- ...and a multitude of other strategies and gimmicks.
Do they work?
The better products (I don't endorse any particular one) may give you insight into your past behavior, show you what you may have done to push your ex away, and help you become a more balanced person. They may help you get rid of unattractive qualities (such as neediness), and encourage you to make yourself more attractive. In other words, they may indeed work, helping you get your ex to desire a relationship with you again.
On the other hand, as always, the buyer has to beware. It's a common practice to market products (especially internet products) with phony or highly embellished testimonials. It's also common to "talk up" products well beyond what they're actually able to deliver.
Most "Get Your Ex Back" products are not willing to say what should be obvious: Many times, your partner won't take you back, no matter what you do.
Ask yourself: Have you ever broken up with someone who you absolutely wouldn't take back? Even if they were a great person? Sometimes, one partner just wants or need something else, and the relationship can't work. We all have free will, so take the promises of "Get Your Ex Back" products with a grain of salt.
Marketing to the Desperate
As internet marketers know, desperate customers make the best customers. I'm not saying don't buy these products: It's OK to feel needy and desperate sometimes, and it's OK to seek comfort in quirky internet products. If you have the money, they can help you find some of the perspective and self-esteem you may lost in the break-up (at least, the good ones can).
Just remember that some internet marketers will gladly take advantage of your desperation. Avoid anything that:
- Makes wild promises of "amazing secrets" that are "normally worth thousands of dollars"
- Guarantees that your ex will absolutely come back
- Charges an unreasonable amount of money
- Comes off as slimey, sleazy or manipulative
I believes that it's a seller's responsibility to behave responsibly when it comes to serving "desperate" customers. They should follow certain principles, including the following:
- Make it affordable for everyone who faces the situation -- making it excessively expensive and customers may hurt themselves financially because they feel desperate
- Provide a sample so customers know exactly what they're getting
- Avoid wild claims, manipulative text and false testimonials
I believe that all products marketed to people who are struggling -- including "Get Your Ex Back" products -- should follow these guideline. It's OK to let your broken heart get the best of you. Just don't let marketers take advantage of you during a difficult time in your life.
